In fact last night, I put a mirror over my kitchen table. Rodney Dangerfield Jokes: Group 6 I dated a girl. He was in the electric chair. My mother had morning sickness after I was born. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. I haven't met everyone yet.
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. We put together this collection of classic and hilarious Rodney Dangerfield jokes to honor the late comedian, who is one of the best of all-time. I figured, let my wife come on. She got 8 out of 10.
You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet. I went to a hooker. Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe. We did everything we could, but he pulled through. I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks.
With me, nothing goes right. He offered me a cigarette. The other 2 guys jumped clear. When I was a kid I got no respect. Caddyshack Rodney Dangerfield Al Czervik : Hey, doll. He felt up my wife! You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
Yo mama so ugly she's only allowed to go out on October 31st. I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Then check out 33 That Will Make You Laugh Best Rodney Dangerfield Wife Jokes 7 What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! When I was a kid I got no respect. Share your own jokes or feedback in the Comment box.
I was so ugly, my mother got morning sickness after I was born. He said he wanted more proof. They caught him stealing pens My father was stupid. You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock. Why, American Airlines, they thanked me for flying United.
Rodney Dangerfield Stand Up Jokes With my wife I don't get no respect. You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry. In my stocking I got an odor eater. His favorite bone is in my arm! What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. The other 2 guys jumped clear. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? Yo mama so ugly she walked into the hood and scared the black off one of my home boys. You're so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is Missing.
My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. Yo mama so ugly that when she tells the truth, it's the ugly truth! Your mum so ugly when she walked past I thought she was Susan Boyle. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Lopart yo mama's so ugly her face should be regestired as a lethal weapon. You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face. I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had. Rodney Dangerfield Chester : Well, if I'm an asshole there's a reason for it. They sent a priest up to talk to me.