If you're in a committed relationship you can't have one talk about sex and then never bring it up again. If you dismiss her concerns and only focus on your desires, you're not putting her at ease. It will stay in her head, and if you're nothing but supportive, respectful, and understanding then she may feel more confident and trusting once she's had a chance to think about it on her own terms. There are a lot of ways you can make things better for both of you. Forward Fold As your partner stands in front of you, bend her over with her legs shoulder-width apart and have her place her hands around her ankles. It will only be minutes before she is imploring you to do more.
It's fine, and can even be desirable, to hold her hair out of the way, or place your hand on her head or shoulder, but it should be in a way that's very gentle and comforting to her. Use oral sex as foreplay to begin learning together. Kiss all over each other's bodies, getting comfortable with every inch of each other. This can be an awkward conversation to bring up, but it is also a light-hearted and fun conversation once you both agree not to judge each other. Make sure both parties are willing to listen, compromise, and work together.
Slowly ramp up your sexual adventures if oral sex seems too far off. She may or may not have much to say, and what she says might not be to your liking. Maybe she's wanted to talk about oral sex as well, and would like you to also consider going down on her. Keep talking, keep being honest, and keep loving each other and you'll both be happy. Benefits: With your mouth right near her vulva, you'll have easy access to her most sensitive parts—and your hands will be free to do what they please. A good way to make her more comfortable is to bring oral sex into foreplay, then moving on to positions you're both more naturally comfortable with.
Even more importantly, have her clue you in when you're doing something good, helping you focus in on the things she needs and loves. This can be an awkward conversation to bring up, but it is also a light-hearted and fun conversation once you both agree not to judge each other. Have her support herself on a bent arm, then position yourself between her outstretched legs. Kiss all over each other's bodies, getting comfortable with every inch of each other. Oral sex can be scary for some woman.
Remember to pay attention to her, not yourself, for the best experience. Incorporate oral sex slowly into your sex life instead of making it the spotlight. So you've got some work to do, buddy. What silly but sexy ideas rev your engines? If she suggested an act that you simply don't enjoy, you would not want to engage in it, regardless of how nicely she asked you about it. Consider why your wife or girlfriend might be put off by oral sex. For her, could mean the difference between orgasmic bliss and a ho-hum time in the sack. Oral sex is easy if you're trying to kill time before the main event, like politely sitting through an opening act as you prep for the headliner.
Listen, even if it's not what you want to hear. Make a bigger deal of foreplay, which is a safe way to take small risks and learn more about each other. The things that go on in the bedroom are communal, not services that she gives you for a job well done, no matter what that job is. If she's not willing to try those, then you'll just have to come to terms with it. Maybe she's wanted to talk about oral sex as well, and would like you to also consider going down on her. Women can be really insecure about this sort of thing, so I highly recommend you avoid making a big deal out of this if you can. Here, we outline a step-by-step guide on how to touch, rub, and lick her lady bits for a mind-blowing finish! If you dismiss her concerns and only focus on your desires, you're not putting her at ease.
If you are not impeccably clean and well groomed at all times, your partner may be concerned with the issue of cleanliness. This isn't a debriefing, and you don't have to do it every single time you sleep together it will get old, fast , but you should feel free to talk about your sex life together. Check in about your sex lives regularly. Ask her what she enjoyed or what she'd like to try next time after sex. This is a great way to not only put her at ease, but slowly incorporate new things into your shared sex life without making her initiate everything. After the act, as you're hanging out and cuddling, ask what she enjoyed.
You need to be upfront if you expect her to be the same. Explore each and every inch of her vulva and continually let her know how much you enjoy her body, Katz explains. What fantasies or styles do you like? Tell me if you don't like it! Let the last one run for even more fun. Add Some Entertainment Women can be as rapidly aroused by porn as men, a recent study by McGill University found. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't enjoy it and feel comfortable as well you absolutely should! Ignore the movies, which portray sex as a deeply serious act of soul-wrenching power. She does not owe you oral sex or have to take it because you want to give.